


Mustard Yellow Minivans

by Pansyfrank



Category: Bandom, Panic! - Fandom, Ryden - Fandom
Genre: LMAO, M/M, This fic is ugly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 16:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5633200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pansyfrank/pseuds/Pansyfrank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uglie breadbong meets weird gay boy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theduchessofhell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theduchessofhell/gifts).



Ryan Ross was a weird child. He always was and now that he is 19 he is just as weird. He likes feeding pigeons by the bank while wearing scarves and Velcro high tops. It was holiday break and he and his mom drove to visit his aunt lady in ththe suburbs of stringbean meadows. As they arrived in his aunts driveway he got out of the mustard yellow minivan and put on his burgundy newsboy cap. "Sup ugli?! U the new twink of the picket fence gang?" Called a tall boy with a Dora the explorer-esqe haircut. "Twinkie? Why would I be a Twinkie?" Ryan stutters. "No I mean like a bottom in bed ya know?" Bowlcut said uncomfortably. "Like bunk beds??" Ryan says in his stupid voice. " no like ya know... Nevermind... Hit me up babe..ya know? Names Brendon, Se ya!" The boy said walking away as he pulled on his tweed scarf. Ryan gasped. He had the same scarf back at home! Was it fate? Did Brendon just have ugly clothes too? What was the truth?!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More gay more bad Fashion

Family made Ryan uncomfortable so he left in his moms minivan. He didn't have his own car bc he was broke and worked at the thrift store and only made minimum wage and he spent his money on his weird clothes. Oh well. He went to the movies to watch the new scary movie about beavers or something like that. He sat down as the movie was starting. It was bad but Ryan was scared of everything he was on the verge of tears as the zombie animals ran around the summer camp. Just when the zombie beaver bit into the weird loner boys leggy, someone grabbed his shoulders and said "sup ugli". Ryan screamed. Luckily it was only him in the theater. It was what's his face with the haircut that had scared him. "Hello Brandon." He said heavily. " babe ur so funny, but it's Brendon. U here alone? Ur girlfriend here or??" He said, his breath smelled like weed. Ok. "I don't have a girlfriend at the moment, so yeah" the word girlfriend came out strained. Ryan was very gay. "Boyfriend?" Bendin persisted. Ryan choked on his soda. "Careful babe don't choke now". Ryan could practically hear the ;) at the end of his sentence. "No boyfriend either? Wow am I lucky!". Brendon said sitting down next to Ryan, removing his weird vest. "Let's consider this our first date then!"


	3. Nothing happens is this even a chapter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That title is so long it could be a fall out boy song lmao a hint hint wink wink ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fobs not actually in this yet ;-)

What a wild heckin time Ryan had at the movies with what's his face with the weed breath and bubble butt! Weed breath would comment every second of the movies about his or her hair or the the realism of the zombie beavers whilst Ryan had a plethora of gay thoughts. The fact that both of them had the tightest pants ever made, Ryan's were denim and Brendon's were shrek green cashmere. Later that night Ryan Ross watched zoolander and pretended that Brendong was the main character and fell asleep imagining berndon s sexy model walk and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a transition leave me alone


	4. Let's go to the mall l

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay mall stuff everything is gay even the water okay bye

"Wake up u flaming homosexual!" Aunt lady hollered into Ryan's attic room. "Shut up your not even my mom ur so old I'm not coming to ur funeral" Ryan muttered into his pillow. The lanky high school dropout meandered down the stairs, and without changing clothes or doing anything bc that's what people do, got into the uglie minivan and began driving to the mall. Ryan wasn't really sure why he wanted to go to the mall, he hated everything about the capitalist hell buildings, but he felt like he needed to. After finding a parking spot next to some fancy car, he walked in the big sliding doors and was immediately greeted by the could stench of the teenage boys axe body spray, corn dogs, and pure evil. He kept walking until he spotted a pet shop. He loved dogs and dogs seemed to love the way he smelled like beef jerky and disappointment. As he walked in he was greeted by a really Emo looking munchkin of a man. "Hey morrisey, ya lookin for a dog?" The guy said with a fading New Jersey accent. "Can I just pet them? Or?" Ryan said motioning to the puppies. "Sure by the way if the dogs smell like weed after u gotta wash em'" he scoffed. Ryan inhaled, "they already smell like weed?". "Yeah lmao I know, don't tell anyone, ok?" Jersey said in a almost laughing tone. 

After playing with the golden retrievers, Ryan walked to art store across the way. (Get it? Way? Art? I'm funny) it smelled like coffee and paint. At the front desk was a man with real roots and eyeliner on watching jersey through his window. "Is that ur boyfriend?" Ryan asks. "Hahahha boyfriend?! What do you mean? Do I seem gay to you?!?" Teal roots laughs nervously. "Whatever man, I wish ya the best." Ryan says walking out after looking at some paint brushes. He had no money anyways. Next he went to the record shop and was greeted with a disinterested head nod from the cashier with weird rectangular glasses and hair that hung in a sort of triangle over his eyes. As Ryan was browsing through the discount bin, he heard a pissed off groan coming from anthrax kid and as he checked to see what he was groaning at he saw what's his face from the movies skipping straight towards the shop Ryan was in. There was no escape from him (was it breadbong?) it was too late he was already in the store. "Ahh good morning mikeyway!!! How are you?!" Breadbong chirped. "Hello Brendon, I'm fine" mikeyway said unenthusiastic tone. So his name is Brendon? That makes more sense than breadbong Ryan guesses. "Hey baby boy". Ryan jumps three feet in the air. Brendon had caught him off guard and snuck up and whispered in Ryan's ear. "H-hi Brendon, what's up?" Ryan said, catching his breath and regaining his composure. "Looking for a man named Peter Wentz, have either of you seen him?" He beamed. Mikeyways head popped up and he looked sort of embarrassed for less than a second then He proceeded to look back down and continue to chip off his black nail polish. Huh whatever. Ryan shook his head no. "Oh well, time to resume my search!" He said loudly then leaned to Ryan's ear and said "don't worry baby I'll see you later" and then kissed his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is longer bc I want to make you happy okay bye

**Author's Note:**

> Many mistakes and it's very short, I know.Plz let me live


End file.
